Reflecting and Giving Thanks
This week I turned 43 years old...sigh..another year and, the way I see it...one more year shaved from my existence. That's probably the morbid way to think of things but, it's actually the opposite. I started late in life creating things and really being who I am. I need to get my ass moving to make more movies, be a part of great projects and make a small scuff mark in the genre of horror.
I always try to take risks and follow my heart. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't. A lot of people don't know, but at the age of 20, I was a member of the Professional Bowlers Association. I had fun, learned about disappointment and prior to that, developed a strong work ethic. For many summers in my teens, I spent in the darkness of bowling alley's wanting to perfect my skill. I had my own business at 21 years of age and worked 7 days a week, sometimes having 2 jobs to survive. I am thankful.
Fast forward to the age of 28....In a freak meeting with Bill Apter who walked into my retail store, I became friends with Steve Corino and my life in Professional Wrestling started. Again, not one to sit idle, I decided to train and learn the ropes of the sport and business. I learned how to promote, perform and write. Yes...write. I helped write PWF TV, I was an on air talent and then later, wrote Live TV for my second trainer, Afa the Wild Samoan. I learned so much about people...the good and the bad. I performed in front of thousands and had everything you can imagine yelled and thrown at me. I am thankful.
Once I hit 40, something broke in my brain...depression hit. I have no idea what happened, but it did. My home life became awful, my business life became awful and my life, in general, became awful. Sometimes you need to see the bright side of things...as I sat, numb...I had a spark. I decided to write my emotions down, except it wasn't just writing...it was a script. Mumbles the clown was me...I was the guy who was the clown making everyone laugh, except honestly, I was sad. My mind was clouded with static but, the writing was releasing it. I wrote my feelings. I am thankful.
This past year, I have really accepted my role in life. I am a writer, an actor, a podcaster...I am a Father, a Husband and a good person. I will always give others credit when they deserve it. In all these years, my attitude hasn't changed. I'm ego free and am always accessible and willing to offer advice. I've worked hard and pushed forward. I am thankful.
I am thankful to each and every person who has stood by me, those who have said a kind word, those who have believed in me and those who have become my friends. I am thankful.