Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Facebook; Do's and Do Not's! Part 2

Facebook; Do's and Do Not's! 
Part 2

We are back for another weekly dose of "Social Media Etiquette. It is I, the King of Social Media, Rob Dimension who will guide you through the rights and wrongs of connecting, staying connected and not being a nuisance.  

If you are lost already, let me refer you to my past blogs about social media success:

We are now going to look at common courtesy to keep the friends you have made. You've made friends but the key is, too keep them. 

Humor - Oh boy, where do I begin with this one? Social Media is basically an "Open Mic" session for everyone who feels the need to steal a joke (Hack), add some en-lighting comment that your day would be shit without, or even show their charm by adding some sexual innuendo to your already shitty day. Not everyone is funny, yet 99% off your social media feed attempts "the funny". Most times your humor is just that...YOUR humor. Posting witty banter on people's post's, especially on their "Wall" almost always seems to be an eye roller or a sigh for the person who has to get the countless notifications from their unfunny friends. 

Rule of thumb, use your comedy on YOUR OWN WALL. If your joke is in your feed, no one can complain. I mean they can, but rightfully, they can simply click the "Unfriend" button. I never mind anyone using that option. 

Honestly, how many friends do I have on Facebook? About 3, my calculations, that's about 2,995 too many. I have a very close circle of friends but I'm an attention whore so I friend everyone...hey, at least I'm honest.

Let's recount the Humor rules - No stealing jokes...this is a HUGE no-no. If you can't be funny without stealing someone else joke, then pass. You're not fooling anyone. Also, refrain from adding your unfunny 2 cents from people's walls. I know it's tempting..I know you have the perfect "that's what she said" spot...just pass on it. If someone is in your Facebook friends list is guilty of this often, first, show them my site...I need the hits, then just click "unfriend". Trust me, Facebook is a fake friendship builder anyways. 

Awful idea..don't do it!

Tagging of Photos - Holy hell, this is a BIG pet peeve of many. Ok, we met, we took a picture, you want to tag it..awesome, I like that. I enjoy seeing my picture, I'm very egotistical (although mostly, I just bitch about how fat I am). What really bothers me is being tagged in photos that A) I'm not in. B) I have nothing to do with, even though you think I'll appreciate me, I don't. And C) That is some spammy type sales gimmick, usually sneakers. I only wear Adidas Superstar shell tops (Run DMC style) so unless it's a promotion for cheap people to get me a free pair, not interested.  

The above picture is a good example of things to NOT tag people in. I don't care if you think I'm sexy, dumb, or super smart (My Mom has told me 2 of those 3). Let's use our brain people, do you really want this dumb shit on your wall? Or even worse, have to hunt through your photos to find pictures of the real you? No one appreciates this things, except old cat ladies who also enjoy enjoy dressing their cats in costumes according to season. 

I appreciate meeting people, I like to remember those times..(mostly) and seeing those pictures. I don't enjoy seeing myself tagged in photo's of CM Punk with a headline "What will WWE do now?" (I honestly don't know, don't care). I don't care where your Wrestlemania seats are, unless you bought me a ticket. No one else cares either...that's the truth.

Let's refresh Tagging Pictures on Facebook - Do NOT do it! Unless it's an actual picture of that person, don't do it. Best rule to follow.

The Birthday Wish - the Birthday wish on Facebook has become an important factor in "online friendships". It's someones Birthday and you want to wish it, awesome...I encourage you to do so. People like attention (including me) but I've seen a change in the Birthday wishes. 

If someone doesn't wish you a Happy Birthday, your world will not end. Believe it or not, some people aren't on Facebook all the's almost crazy to think that someone people have lives, work or even leave their house...I know, crazy. Worry about your real life friends, get a party started and get some gifts...or sit in your room, cry and eat ice cream (that's what I do).

This brings me too the next part of the Birthday wish - The generalized "Thanks to everyone who said Happy Birthday" or even worse...the "like". If your friend takes the time to write "Happy Birthday" plus maybe "Hope you have a great day" they have clearly taken the time out of their day to express their appreciation for you. Yet, you can't acknowledge it, but to send a general "thanks"? Total dick move. People always say, "well, it's the thought that reason to say thanks", you know as well as I do, if you've spent any time on Facebook that your friends are needy. You had better say "Thanks Tom, you're swell" and maybe include a smiley face or something. Trust me, Tom will then not be pissed when you tag him in a picture of your Cat, dressed as an elf. 

The "like" - I've said this before, the like function on Facebook is the laziest form of interaction, the second is the Retweet on Twitter (yes, I do both, don't judge me). "Liking" the Birthday wish is a bit of a slap in the face. In other words, they can take the time out of their day to give you a nice gesture, writing it out, doing their homework and your response is one fkn click? Wow, some ego you have! Do the right thing, tell them - Thank you.

Let's Refresh "Happy Birthday" posts - If someone wishes you a Happy Birthday, don't be a smug, celebratory turd who is too busy opening up gifts, eating cake and enjoying your day with your family and loved ones...your Facebook friends want your damn attention too!

You're entirely welcome for this course, share with your friends, while it's free. Someday, I shall be standing in front of a classroom full of people that want to know, "How can I be popular?" Until then, follow me on Twitter RobDimension and keep checking back here for more tips that will help you survive. 


  1. You missed the worst, which is douchebags adding you to a group without is that? I feel like making a group called DOUCHEBAGS ON FB and adding THEM to it.

  2. Another great post Rob.You almost make me want to sign up for Facebook again....almost. If everyone were to follow your rules then I never would have left in the first place. When real life is less stressful than social media something is wrong.