Psychic Kimberly opens The Gates of Hell in this review

The Gates of Hell Review

by: Psychic Kimberly

Of course I'm not psychic, but I will be one on the show. I was told I needed to pull my weight and start reviewing some films, so here we go (btw:I'm the non-bloody one in the picture)

In the summer of 1980, Italian horror film director Lucio Fulci, known as the “godfather of gore”, released in my opinion, one of his best films, “The Gates of Hell”, aka “City of the Living Dead”.  This film was the first in the “Gates of Hell” trilogy and really kicks the Horror into overdrive, almost instantly, between brain ripping action to the elegantly shot scenery, Fulci covers every base with this zombie masterpiece.

In “The Gates of Hell”, Fulci’s approach to opening the gates of hell was pretty unique in the fact that it seemed almost too easy. You can’t help but wonder if it’s actually, if so, has it been done before? Nah, probably not, but imagine the world in the midst of the Zombie Apocalypse, it’s a vision of hope, despair and tragedy. For some, it would become a living Hell, for others, a dream come true.

I think that Fulci portrays the word hell in a different way than most would. Hell in this movie consisted of fleshing eating zombies with super powers. Yes it’s true, super power like abilities; theses Fulci zombies had super strength, teleportation, and levitation…who doesn’t wanna be a Fulci Zombie? Seeing Fulci’s interpretation of Zombies is different and surreal considering the time and era.

After Father William Thomas hangs himself, the Gates of Hell swing open, now it’s a matter of time to close the Gate before All Saints Day. This is a recipe for disaster and let the Zombies hit the floor, as Hell really breaks loose.

Fantastic gore, a decent story and some good ole’ underground dwellings make this a classic Fulci’s Bloodfest, a must see. 

Pigamortis visits Flesh, TX ...and reviews it

So we allllll know "The Saw is Family". This however does not mean that all cannibalistic kinfolk from Texas use the saw for family business.
Enter Guy Crawford's "FLESH,Tx".


Directed by Guy Crawford


On screen deaths: 5*
Best Death: Sugar's (if i HAVE to pick one)



*I am not counting the "reported deaths" or "eluded to deaths" just the ones shown onscreen.



So where do i begin? The movie starts off like a shot with a pair of door to door bible thumpers spreadin the good word of Jesus. They come to a rundown house out in the midst of what you would assume to be nowhere and come across a momma and her her daughters. After an all too friendly welcome we are treated to a slashed throat and a stabbing for apparently no reason. (Although do you EVER really need a reason to hack and slash door to door God Squad types?) So far... the movie is off to a good start.


We jump on over to the local bar, where 2 "biker" fellas(Neither guy had a HARLEY)after what we can only assume was a long ride stop in for a couple of brews only to find that this place in the middle of nowhere only serves PABST BLUE RIBBON! (ain't nothin wrong with that!)

Its then that they are approached by Sugar Barley. A sexy lil number who had this low budget,Baby Firefly thing going on. She starts flirting and hits on one of the biker guys and of course easily gets him to ditch his friend and take her home.
I'd like to interrupt this review for just a moment for a lil piggy pop quiz:



You're an average (at best) Joe and a gal who you probably could never PAY to pee on you if you were on fire, let alone touch you in a sexual manner (Dimension knows what I mean) comes up to you and propositions you... She is what?



A) She is a poor, lost, soul who needs your help her and you'd
better take her home before some other guy with less morals
than you takes advantage of her.



B) She is simply blown away by your big city charms and down to
earth demeanor and simply MUST be yours!


C) She is a crazy bitch who will take you home and butcher you.



I know as men we are hardwired to think with the little head but,c'mon...
If you answered any answer but C) you are a tool and you deserve what you get.
We now return you to our review, already in progress.



So fella gets brought back to the rundown house we saw earlier and Sugar (who keeps doing this really cute thing with her eyebrow) introduces this moe to the rest of the BARLEY clan: Momma, Jonas(Pa), Fancy, Butter, and Woody, the mullet wig wearin, beefy,studdering,swearing jacktard. As you my dear reader can already assume, things do not end well for our biker shmuck.

So far, its been a decent movie, i mean we are only 1/4 way in and although i don't mind low-budget movies, the low budget feel is clearly here. Its here that we are introduced to the unlovable mother/daughter team of Donna and Tabitha Parker. Traveling cross country to get to California to "start over" after an ugly divorce, where Tabitha blames her mom for the problems with her dad. Or at least that is the back story laid out in an awkward conversation between the mother/daughter in the car.


This conversation's awkward level is only compounded by the heaping shovel loads of attitude both characters give off, making them both rather unlikeable.
They pull into a gas station for a pee break and it is here that Sugar Barley runs into our duo and Tabitha ends up on the back of a milk carton. Upon calling the local sheriff, who turns out to be Sugar's pa,Jonas Barley, who really doesn't help her at all.


With her daughter gone, and little help from the locals, Donna begins her own investigation. One that leads her to the local bar, (the one that only served PABST)where we are treated to a cameo by B-movie staple, JOE ESTEVEZ. He plays the town drunkard, Henry who in a alcohol induced, pre-passout babble gives Donna some clues(?) that something sinister may have happened to her daughter and that Sugar and the Family maybe involved. Henry goes on (and on and on and on) about forgiveness and turning his back on evils and blah blah blah. (the filmmakers squeezed every cent they paid for this cameo out of Estevez) The sheriff shows up to chase Donna off and to "take Henry home" (to see his maker).

SPOILER ALERT! (I say this with a fairly decent amount of sarcasm because i feel that the movie has been fairly predictable) We find out that Tabitha has not yet befallen the fate of the other folks in this movie but is being saved for SUNDAY SUPPER and needs to be fattened up. (Although how fat can they get her in a week feeding her a handful of ritz and an apple half?) Woody, is the family kick around as demonstrated throughout the movie by the other family members, especially Sugar. When Woody needs to bring Tabitha her meal, she plucks at his big, dumb heartstrings and not since "Milo and Otis" has a more unconventional friendship been formed. Also not since that movie has there been such an overwhelming amount of ADR in one scene. Pretty much the rest of their conversation is all overdubbed which really works well with Woody's stuttering(note sarcasm) And when things get fouled up and Donna gets closer to finding her daughter, when Pa gives Woody the order to "Kill Tabitha"... well we all know where this is heading.


Donna eventually follows the trail back to the FAMILY house and with ninja like skills, silently enters and is treated to a house of horrors. where various other "children" of the family live and apparently baby bird each other for meals.
[I would like to at this point give kudos to CARL HAWKE the set designer for the kick ass poster of WAYNE NEWTON in the murder house!]In a confrontation, Donna knocks out Fancy Barley, the oversexed mute and is confronted by Momma Barley and learns the "secret" (that we all knew from the opening scenes) of the cannibal clan and that her daughter was next on the menu, as well as being given some really helpful tips on parenting by Momma. Our still unlikeable, Donna is knocked out and Woody is to take her out back and strip her of her clothes and burn em. No one get excited, there is 0 nudity in this film. Its here that we learn that Woody and Tabitha's friendship has blossomed and he reunites mother and daughter, only to be stopped by Sugar. This culminates into what is possibly thee weakest, unsexy cat fight ever ending in someone getting pitchforked in the guts.


What is really odd is the message they try to convey (kind of beating you over the head with it really) that sometimes we don't always like our family but we should always love them because after all they are family.
I am leaving out some of the "twists and turns" of the film, that didn't really add much in my opinion.


Flesh,Tx had potential. The cinematography (Guy Crawford) was actually rather impressive as there were some great shots throughout the movie. For its low-budget roots the movie was rather well acted, I've seen worse in bigger budget flicks. The FAMILY seemed to be a bit cliched. We've seen this redneck, cannibal family before in various inceptions. The characters were very two dimensional and aside from Sugar being amazing eye candy, the rest of the cast really had nothing to offer. The characters of Donna and Tabitha just hoping that they would have both been Lunch and Dinner for the Family. That's saying something when you're actually less likable than the CANNIBAL, INBRED, PSYCHOPATHS in the movie. You just couldn't get behind them at all. I also think the air of conspiracy the movie wanted to convey just fell short. Who do you trust? Who in town is in on it or worse yet, part of the Family? You just really didn't care.


The main gripe of the movie was the terrible sound. The poor ADR, the background noise which at one point drowned out the dialog,some glaring editing slip ups, all in all it simply detracted from the over-all film. The FX (Randy Arbogast)and Make up FX (Michael Peterson, Sarah Catherine Renshaw) were rather mediocre, although there wasn't all that much blood in this, sadly.


The moral of the story, don't talk to hot girls at gas stations or bars, better yet take a map and avoid FLESH,Tx all together.

Harry Potter LEGO review - John shows he's a Gamer!!

Lego Harry Potter: Years 1-4 (A guide to witchcraft with legos.)

Lego Harry Potter has been out now for a number of weeks and I am not afraid to say it, I had the game reserved since I first found out about it. So for me that would mean I reserved my copy of it back in November 2009 at my local video game dealer, yeah go ahead and laugh I don’t care. I am a huge lego video game and have every single one they have come out with except lego rock band because that’s not really a game like the other lego games are. I own all the Star Wars, Indiana Jones and Batman games and was uber excited when the Harry Potter one was announced. Of course I have found out they are going to make a Spiderman and Transformers one too, so again the uber excitement has set in.

When I first heard about it and that you could do spells and fly on the brooms I initially was concerned for the game play and the intensity they might have put into it. I thought they may over think it and take away from the enjoyment that the other lego games provided to players. The other thing I was worried about was do I go with the deluxe edition that I would have to pay a little bit more for, but get the collectables they give with the game. I researched and talk to my video game dealer guru and he informed me it that the items you received with the game were crappy little pins and that it wasn’t the extra money, unlike the cool lego Indy key chain I got with the latest lego Indian Jones game. So with that Sofie’s choice of a decision out of the way I focused my concern on the game itself.

Now I will admit that I generally pick up the strategy guide book for all my lego games just to have should I get stuck in that one spot that annoys me to no end and need a little “guidance” with. Now as I talked with my non-regular video game dealer guru and asked when they would release the strategy guide he informed me they probably wouldn’t put one out because they don’t really do that for the lego games. Now once I was finished screaming and skinning him alive for being stupid in my mind I politely said, oh ok no big deal, but it was to me…oh well.

I got the game home and began to play it and I was bothered by it initially as you have to learn different spells and button functions that didn’t quite stay true to previous lego games. Some of the characters are a bit hard to control in general and you have to go through the game quite a number of times in order to find everything in order to get that beloved 100% complete status. Now I know every lego game you need to go through a number of times to complete, but this one was a bit excessive. As well the overall layout is a bit confusing as you traverse around the castle of Hogwarts and then the outside and courtyards, you tend to get lost rather quickly. I think that’s why I would have liked the strategy guide the most to reference some sort of map, but in the end I ended up making my own. There were a couple of glitches in the game and I had to restart the system because of them, but I guess that’s par for the course.

Now while I have said less than positive things about the game I do want to go on record and say once I got the controls and button functions down I did have a pretty good time playing it. I enjoy all the lego games and the motto is if it aint broke don’t fix it, and that’s how I felt the other games were until we got to Harry Potter. If I could say one thing to the designers of the game that would be to not over complicate a good thing, don’t put so much time into public area screens and just make the levels a bit longer instead.

I have only seen the first three films of the Harry Potter series and the game stayed pretty true to the films with the lego twist of comedy as they do in any of their games. I was glad to see that, but since I had never seen the fourth film in the series I was confused by the story line and was let down a bit by the final boss as he was rather simple to defeat while Myrtle was a bit more challenging to defeat.

All in all I would say if you’re a fan of the lego games and you have played them all then you will enjoy it and you might as well feed the addiction. If you have never played the games before then I would recommend playing one of the earlier lego games like the first Indiana Jones rather than the one with the Crystal Skull movie in it which is the second coming of Indy for lego.

Be Safe & pick up your toys when you’re done,
John Cannon

Dimension reviewsThe Descent Part 2

The Descent (2005) caught a lot of people by surprise when it released. I remember getting a ...ahem.."copy" of the this and was pleasantly surprised. Underground caves can be scary on their own, claustrophobia will rear it's ugly head as soon as the walls tighten up on anyone. Remember, breathe and slow your heart rate down...it would never work, I would just flip out. Watching the original, I had the sweaty palms and staggered breathing , just waiting for the next rock to fall.

The Crawlers (the underground dwellers) added even more suspense to the film. Creepy, crawly and just outright gross. Blind with a sense of smell and hearing, the crawlers were out for blood.

The Descent 2 picks up right after part 1. Our heroine, Sarah climbing out of the caves covered in blood finally is rescued. With no memory of the shocking events or her friends horrible deaths, Sarah is questioned by the Sheriff who decides to take her back into the caves. Bad idea....

I, as always will not spoil anything for you, I will lend some simple Horror Movie survival knowledge and somethings to watch for. I enjoyed this movie...too a point. The common sense factor for this goes right out the window right from the start. Everything that wouldn't happen or shouldn't happen..does. Sarah would never be taken out of the hospital, after 2 days and drug back into the caves. The Sheriff and his female deputy know nothing about climbing or survival in the caves and they are joined by 3 experts. 

The biggest uphill battle for this film is that the "closeness" of the cave has already been seen. It's hard for them to add new scares to something that they already exposed in the first one. The Crawlers, the shock value is gone..we know they are down there. The simple glance for a cheap scare is gone...now you have to have a solid story to carry this film. The gore is decent, I hate that the blood looks so reddish...it is almost distracting.

There are some fun scenes, some good scares but just not enough to make this a "BUY"...I kinda rate movies now on if I would plunk down $15 on them. With so many junky films out there, it just is hit or miss. This one is a watch 1 time and maybe again if it's on cable or becomes an instant watch on netflix.

Bottom Line - if you liked the original, at least check this one out. There is a small twist at the end, which can be explained more in a future film (not sure if it will be), but maybe that can add some zest to this series again. A lot of times when you deal with a location that is natural, the viewer can relate but once they have seen it it looses it's fear. There isn't enough "new" scares to make me say "Oh..that was awesome". I really liked the 1st one and would highly recommend that to BUY, the 2nd...maybe a rental.

KMR hits us with an AMAZING Day of the Dead Review

Our friends over at Kaiju Movie Review have given us an amazing review of Day of the Dead. The Classic George A Romero zombie cult favorite, Day of the Dead from 1985 is revered by many as one of the most "spot on" realizations of the Zombie Apocalypse.

Daniel Wickwire proves that he, not only knows Kaiju but is also a fan of the Undead. Have a seat and check out the review. Share your thoughts and stop over to Kaiju Movie Review for Giant Monster news and reviews!!

Ghosts of the dark deep sea. (Updated)

Ghosts of the dark deep sea. (Updated)

There are many tales of the sea, some like the most famous being the Flying Dutchman or the lighthouse keeper who continues to shine the way for lost travelers to even the woman who lost her love and now waits on the rocky shore for her beloved to sail home. Heck there are even three movies that Disney put out about Pirates and Supernatural sea stories that surround them. Now, I bring this up because while we know full well about ghosts of the sea, what about ghosts of the deep?

First off let’s look at the definition of a ghost:  A ghost - or spirit or apparition - is the energy, soul or personality of a person who has died and has somehow gotten stuck between this plane of existence and the next. Most researchers believe that these spirits do not know they are dead. Very often they have died under traumatic, unusual or highly emotional circumstances. Ghosts can be perceived by the living in a number of ways: through sight (apparitions), sound (voices), smell (fragrances and odors), touch - and sometimes they can just be sensed.

Now I think that is an operational definition that we can all agree on as being a good explanation of what a ghost is. So now that we have that out of the way and we pick apart this definition let’s take a look at where it says that a ghost is someone who has died under traumatic, unusual or highly emotional circumstances. What could be more traumatic than seeing a Japanese dive bomber plummeting into the side of a ship and sinking it to the bottom of the sea? What could be any more highly emotional than watching waves and waves of Japanese fighters and bombers destroying the docks at Pearl Harbor knowing you and your fellow soldiers are unprepared for such a massive attack? And that’s is just the tip of the iceberg, this doesn’t include submarine disasters and other ship sinking’s such as the R.M.S. Titanic.

I am talking about ghost hunting underwater, that’s right I said it, ghost hunting underwater. Now before you decide to try and commit me, hear me out and open your mind for a second. If such traumatic events can happen both on the land and on the sea, then what makes it so absurd that it can’t happen underwater? For all the ship, submarines and planes that have been lost out at sea what is to make you think it couldn’t happen?

Now obviously you can’t do normal EVP work under the sea but you can use sonar or put a audio recorder in a water proof bag and take it down with you. The theory is the same that there may be something that appears on the recording because if the ghost doesn’t want you there it will tell you, just as it would if you were anywhere else. As well you can do the same as it applies to a k-2 meter, just simply put it into a waterproof bag or I’m sure there are some highly expensive underwater k-2 meters as well.

Now I have brought this up to many people, both scuba divers and ghost hunters and very rarely have I run into someone who didn’t think I was out of my mind until after I explained it to them. Why is it so absurd? If you look at some fundamental aspects in relation to the conductivity of water and electricity this theory starts to make a bit more sense. Water can conduct electricity we all know that, so why is it such a stretch of the imagination that electricity can be attached to something underwater?

In my research I have found one place that actually has taken on the challenge of underwater ghost hunting. They implement sonar technology for collecting evp’s as well as underwater video and digital cameras. Now I am not sure if they got as far as emf’s, but I wouldn’t be shocked if they are currently working on it.

Well I think I am going to have to try some stuff out the next time I go diving, I just have to make sure the equipment isn’t going to implode as the pressure crushes it to death. I guess we will see, and as always you are welcome to dispute my reasoning, but you can’t so you won’t

Be safe and take swimming lessons,
John Cannon

Pigamortis and his Zombie Pig Pen review - Path of Torment

Pigamortis and his Zombie Pig Pen review - Path of Torment

Ok piglets... this is my first review for the Horror Hotel and i don't wanna disappoint. I do so hate to be negative. Hehehehe. If only Dimension would have given me a better movie for me to review...that nerd.
I would like to first start off by saying that I won't go into any details that could be considered a "SPOILER", because I do support independant films and regardless of my feelings on this film, i commend Gary C. Warren and his cast and crew for making independent horror.

Here we go.

Path of Torment
Written and Directed by Gary C. Warren

# of Deaths: 5 (3 shown on screen)
Best Death: STANLEY


The Plot? Two Bible types come to a quiet, suburban household and for reasons revealed throughout the movie torture the inhabitants and murder their friends and neighbors. I know that is a very general explanation, but this movie was swerving all over the road. I'll give it this much, it's ridiculous first premise, (there are a few in the movie) make you go "WTF?!" but as it goes on, it devolves in simplicity and i think that is the direction it was meant to go and personally think they should have stuck with from the jump.




We start off with a party scene. I LOVE party scenes! ESPECIALLY scenes where its all ADR (Sorry for the tech terms, thats Automated dialogue replacement ) conversations amongst party guest you could only HOPE for psycho killers to come in and murder each and every one of them. For reasons beyond me, (I guess i'm just not smart enough to "get it") there was this blurry effect going on throughout this scene that nearly made me puke, mostly because it was blurring what was already a 1/2bottle of Yukon Jack night.
One of the first of these interactions was between a white guy (who tries to legitimately use the word "WORD")in a conversation with a black fella in a conversation consisting of " Hey, what was the name of that song? You know the one... you gotta fight, for your right to party? or some shit." To which the black fella replies "THAT SHIT WAS TIGHT, CHIEF!" and high fives him.

SERIOUSLY? Then the proceed to drag on the joke of mixing up every 80s rock band. NOONE is that sucky at trivia. This is a very contrasting irony in characters however and is only relevent after we meet... ehhh,we'll get back to that later. Anyway, the party scene goes on and ends with the death of the hunky cop BOBBY ST.CLAIRE. ALL of this BEFORE the credits.
So now our story REALLY begins and starts travelling at break plot speeds down hill with no brakes!
We are now introduced to KEN and ELLEN, our happy couple and Eli and Todd our door to door bible thumpers. Their happy lives all intertwine like a Tarantino movie without the pesky storyline or expensive talent.


Let me take a second to talk about the talent in this movie. Now, i understand the whole low/no budget tactics of filmmaking. You use what is available to you.
SO i can only ASSUME (and this is just my assumption) that the actor who played KEN (Craig Beffa) must have nekkid, incriminating pictures of the Director. Maybe he is a brother-in-law or son of a favorite aunt. Or maybe they just didn't have anyone else for the part, but seriously couldnt they have waited till AFTER they shot the movie to sedate this guy? Ken was blander than a ricecake soaked in water. They cut your finger off, broke your arm and cut all up on you and it barely got the guy to open his eyes all the way. I mean c'mooooon i know the fella who plays Eli throws punches like a bitch (Pigamortis Tip: Get a better punch sound effect) but even Eli's limp wristed punches should have gotten more of a sell from you and your wife.
The worst offense was during a calm conversation between Ken and Todd while Eli is allegedly raping Ellen in the next room. (I say alleged... they explain it in the movie.) Also, i'd like to just go on record to say there is no WAY doughy Ken got Ellen. She was WAY outta his league, but i suspend disbelief for the sake of the movie.


NOW, lets get to the character that although you're supposed to hate him, today's society of people who watch these sort of movies usually end up LOVING, ELI (Writer/Director/Editor/Producer/Star, Gary Warren) I probably would have loved this fella too if all the dialog didnt seem just a lil too contrived and forced. Its obvious Warren loves movies and useless trivia much like i do, however even I got bored of all the tv references. The dialog was trying WAY WAY too hard to be smart assed, flippant and bubbling over with pop culture references. Noone seemed naturally able to "keep up" with Warren's character. Even he seemed to be just go thru the motions in a few scenes and making the references just for the sake of doing it as if trying to fill some pop culture quota. The Spin-off conversation he had with Ellen (his captive, mind you) was just as if 2 folks met up on a match.com date and tried delivering some Kevin Smithian dialog to one another. It just didn't work. The dialog tried, i mean REALLLY tried to be fun, it just fell a little short.
One of the most ironic moments in the movie was when Warren's character after a rather funny rant about how much theatre actors suck says "See? Anyone can act now go fuckin screw..." Not anyone, 90% of your cast can't.



The deaths in the film were reallllly tame and I understand not having a "big budget" but c'mon. I hope FILTHY ROTTEN HORRORS, the FX team responsible for the "GORE" in this movie didn't charge Gary Warren for their services. I used the quotes because aside from Stanly and the corkscrew death, (the Winner of the BEST DEATH IN THE MOVIE award) there was very little gore and the FX were barely passable. They just seemed to not really care. I've seen high school films with better FX. Even the blood was watered down and weak. I'd also like to say to the filmmaker, there is NO way that "Studdering Sideburns" could ever fit in that freezer in the garage.



I would also like to say that I in no way am some politically correct, knee jerk reaction type of pig who gets "grossed out" or "uncomfortable" when things get edgy. That being said, the hanger scene in this movie was really lame. If you're gonna go for that kinda hit, you'd better follow thru and make sure you connect. Unfortunately, you missed by a mile with this scene. Either go big or don't go at all. If you were going to do the scene, at least spill a little of the red stuff, man. I know you're budget was probably limited, but jeez i have a couple of great recipes for cheap stage blood that looks a helluva lot better than what you guys used.
The soundtrack for this movie was decent and all of the songs were fairly decent, I'll even go as far as to say some of the songs were damn catchy. I feel like maybe they tried to cram all the songs in and its variety seemed to jumbled. It went from a catchy lil song to death metal to ska. Much like the movie it was all over the place.







After all of the twists and swerves and flashbacks (completely neccessary by the way)in this movie, the end reveals the true motives of "ELI" and its almost as if I felt better about the movie. I felt like yelling "WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST DO THIS FROM THE BEGINNING???" It by no means saved this movie, but i couldnt help but smile a bit at the end scene. I was also impressed with the last shot of the film. (Pre credits)


Lest I be irresponsible, i feel i must pass on that this movie DOES come with a message, "Beware the internet!" Heed that message, piglets!

New Hires at the Horror Hotel??

PIGAMORTIS WREX gets Hired!!!

Like things on the set of Late Night at the Horror Hotel couldn't get any weirder...well, they just did. Late Night at the Horror this past weekend welcomed a few new cast members:

Pigamortis Wrex - The new big man....or pig on campus is Pigamortis Wrex. Pigamortis is a sharp, quick witted Horror film nut who thinks he will make this show "Watchable", according to him. We asked Pigamortis for some comments and it we wondered...why the heat?

"Of course they hired me, the show was tanking. You really think two losers like Cannon and Dimension could handle this job? Pigamortis is already getting the job done...wait til you see what happens next." Big promises from the big man, we hope everyone will tune in to see what happens now.

Hack The Zombie - well, what can we say here...he looks a little familiar to us but says his name is "Hack". Hack had this to say, "Yo...this place doesn't have any beer...what a waste. I know Cannon and Dimension, Cannon can cook some great grub and Dimension, well..we are gonna get plastered!!" Okay, did we mentioned he yelled this entire time? So much for family friendly.

DJ The Janitor - The lovable and well..umm...dead Janitor has been given the opportunity to keep this place clean. Hopefully, he has a censor license too...this place just got messier. DJ comes to work, does his job and try's not to get in the way. Supposedly, he dances...but we have yet confirmed that. When asked for a comment, DJ just shuffled past us and mumbled something about "a messy kitchen, rubber sheets and vomit"...so, we decided not to continue with the questions, we just didn't want details.

Rob Dimension will be at the Eastern PA Tattoo and Piercing Show on August 7th

Rob Dimension comes to The Eastern PA Tattoo and Piercing Show on August 7th

On August 7th in Brodheadsville, PA, come on out to the Eastern PA Tattoo and Piercing show. Need some new ink? Make a day of it...bring the family...vendors, live music and a great time. Stop by and see Rob Dimension from the popular TV and web show "Late Night at the Horror Hotel".

Need more info? Head over to http://epatps.com check out all the happenings.

New to Late Night at the Horror Hotel?

So, maybe you are just finding us after watching our Guest hosting spot on 100 Years of Monster Movies, that's great. Thanks for watching and hopefully, you enjoyed yourself. We will introduce ourselves - the cast is John Cannon and Rob Dimension, plus we have Lord Von Heisenburger and Pugly the Bell Hop. We are going to introducing more cast members this week...right here. We are based out of Philadelphia and are on every Thursday and Saturday night at Midnight on the PhillyCam network. More stations are in the process of picking us up, so stay tuned.

On this site, we review movies, comics, pop culture and anything else we think about. We try to be diverse and keep things fresh, from the Paranormal to Magic. We will be touring Conventions and Haunted Attractions starting August 7th at the Eastern PA Tattoo and Piercing Show, then on to MonsterMania and more. We recommend visiting the site a few times a week as we are always updating.

If you enjoyed tonight's 100 Years of Monster Movie presentation but missed some of it, don't worry...we got you covered. This special 2 hour extravaganza will be available on DVD - you will get the segments you just watched, plus plenty more including an awesome recipe from Chef John, some footage from both Kim's Krypt and The Severed Sinema show plus a movie review...if that's not enough...both movies (Cut to be better...trust us)...this is one dvd you will NOT want to miss Stay Tuned for ordering details.

Wanna see more? Okay, look to the right side of this page...you can watch Episode 3 of our show or you can now buy Season 1 Episodes 1&2 of our show featuring Night of the Living Dead and Plan 9 from Outer Space for only $12 shipping anywhere in the US. Scroll down for details. 

Once again, we greatly appreciate you checking in and watching. When you need a room...just check in at Late Night at the Horror Hotel.

You ever been Gang Gonged???

I am totally giving away my age with the mention of the Gong Show, running on network TV from 1976-1978. The premise sounds very familiar, contestants would preform their so called "Talent" in front of a panel of 3 celebrity judges. American Idol and American's Got Talent, while they might be good and fun...they can't hold a candle to the sheer craziness of The Gong Show. I know what your saying...if the show ran 2 years, then how is it so amazing? Let me give you some details and examples...then you decide.

The Host of the Gong Show was Chuck Barris (pictured above) worked his way up through the ranks and really must have been good at the politic game (I know all about this, ask around) and soon went from backstage assistant to TV show creator and Gong Show host...he had a great run with involvement in The Newlywed Game, The Dating Game and The Gong Show. I would say that's impressive!

The celebrity panel was more like the who is who of lounge singers and full fledged comedians. The program's frequent judges included Jaye P. Morgan, Jamie Farr, Arte Johnson, Rip Taylor, Phyllis Diller, and Anson Williams..yep Potsie. These were the comedians I grew up watching and thinking they were funny, now you know something is wrong with me. They would judge the acts on a 1 to 10 scale, with a 30 being perfect and the contestant winning a whopping $516.32..which was the Actor's Guild minimum pay for 1 day worth of work.

The list of performers to come from the Gong Show, even in it's 2 year run are amazing - Among the other true talents that appeared on the show were singer Box Car Willie; comics Paul Reubens (best known for Pee Wee Herman); Joey D'Auria (WGN's second Bozo the Clown); impressionist/comic Michael Winslow (most known for Police Academy); and a band called The Mystic Knights of the Oingo Boingo which evolved into Oingo Boingo. Sure, doesn't look like much but, still a decent list.

My favorite comedian to come from The Gong Show had to be The Unknown Comic. Portrayed by Murray Langston, The Unknown Comic wore a bag on his head and told the worst, most corniest jokes but they worked. He was a joke writer for people like Joan Rivers, Redd Foxx and even Jim Carrey, I would say that would mean the guy has some talent. Such a simple yet funny concept and really worked...even when I was 10 years old.




Here is some Classic Unknown Comic stuff, very funny and worth a watch.

Why did I write about The Gong Show? I got talking about a movie called "Night Patrol", have you seen it? It gets horrible reviews, plus it stars Linda Blair (who looks great in it, fresh off from Hell Night and Exorcist 2), Pat Paulsen, Billy Barty, Jaye P. Morgan and Murray Langston (the Unknown Comic). Do the reviews tell the truth? Well, kind of...it depends on your sense of humor...if you enjoy, dirty, terrible, stupid humor than this might be an epic feature for you. I actually love this movie...my taste is extremely warped though. While the Gong Show movie is not on DVD, at least this is...

Here is the trailer:

Boarding House - It's Horror Vision!!!! Okay, so it's pretty dumb, but fun

This isn't really newsworthy but wanted to share, since we just started a new message board
 http://dimensioncollectibles.yuku.com/directory
  Go check it out, become a member and have some fun!!

Back when Video cameras we less than accessible, at least they were pricey ... there was a few release of "shot on video" releases that I guess could be described as "Indy films" back then. No budget, plenty of boobs and pretty terrible special effects. Here are some names:

Video Violence 1&2
Cannibal Camp Out
Boarding House
(probably my favorite out of the bunch..I will explain)

Boarding House - shot in Horror Vision...what's that??? Oh, it's shockingly good...not really

When Boarding House (1982) was released I was just a 12 yr old punk...not much has changed. The movie impacted me in a weird way, sure after going back and watching it now, I realize how awful it is...but Horror Vision was a crazy good gimmick. While the film was lacking from every angle, the actually "Tingler" type warning was a great feature. The special effects were pretty awful but I give these guys credit for doing the Horror Vision since, I remembered it for 20+ years, it worked for me.

It would all start with this warning - "Ladies and gentleman, this is a warning. To protect theatre owners and the makers of this Horror Vision film, viewers with nerve or heart conditions are advised to cover their eyes and ears whenever this object appears on the screen ..."

Now come on...admit it...seeing a Hand with psychedelic colors back in '82 would shock anyone. I was all about it, remembering this film for years before finally being able to rediscover this gem. I probably should have left well enough alone, as once I went back and watched this...it was kind of a turd. I would recommend you to watch it yourself though. Below is the trailer, just witness the madness!!!

Am I crazy to enjoy the Crazies???

Am I Crazy to enjoy the Crazies (remake)?

by: Rob Dimension

Okay, so I just got done watching The Crazies, the 2010 remake from

director Breck Eisner, written by Scott Kosar and Ray Wright. I will review this film, as always with as little of spoilers as possible.

The Crazies stands in a long line of remakes, the current trend from Hollywood since creativity has gone down the drain. George A. Romero, who I just admire for his non conforming attitude and risky, political themed films, released the original The Crazies in 1973. Romero, taking a shot at the current Government pull (Vietnam was the topic during that time frame), really still proves that the fear of the government and their power struggle is still here, some 40 years later.

The plot synopsis is very simple and quite honestly, could happen at anytime, in my opinion. A plane carrying a biological warfare weapon to unstablize a territory, crashes in a small town and infects their drinking supply. Plain and simple, the people that drink the water begin to go insane and the government must step in to quarantine the area. Of course, the government loses control and things spiral out of control. The story focuses on a Sheriff, his Wife and a Deputy and how they try to survive the ordeal. 

Let's get to the facts, the Sheriff is played by Timothy Olyphant, who has played some good roles in Live Free or Die Hard and my favorite Porno producer in The Girl Next Door, and he does a really believable job here as the Sheriff...I like this guy, he's pretty a solid actor. I think he took this role and really did fantastic, he carries the film.

This film, for me has 2 tremendous kill scenes. One does involve Olyphant...SPOILER ALERT : At one point, his wife and him are cornered in their house. The family, Mother and Son of the first victim that the sheriff had to kill have the Wife tied to a chair, the Sheriff gets nailed from behind and now reaches for his gun. While reaching for his gun, the son stabs his hand and attaches it to the floor, the Sheriff now lifts his hand, knife still through it and stabs the Mother in the throat...very cool and pretty creative.  

Would I recommend this film? Yes, it's different that the original but it's faster paced, which now a days works better. There are some great "shock" moments that will make you jump and I think the believability of this possible outbreak is what should make you think. With H1N1 making huge headlines last year, this could be in our future. Would the Government handle things any different than they do here? Highly unlikely.

I still recommend going back and watching the Romero original, The Crazies simply because it I feel it is still worth a watch and George just has a way to express himself via film...something that is nearly impossible today.Bottom line, if you are an independent film fan, actor or director...inspiring possibly? Watch Romero's stuff...he is the guy I pimp the most. 

Okay, so again...go RENT the Crazies remake, I think you would enjoy it. It was fun and wasn't a typical remake. Have a great day guys and speak with ya soon!!

Comic Book Vocabulary - A Beginners Guide to Comic Book terms and more

Comic Book Vocabulary - A Beginners Guide to Comic Book terms and more
Video Included!!!

by : John Cannon

Comic books have been around for a multitude of years even starting as early as 1934 when the reprinted regular newspaper comics at first. Now if you have gone through your life and have never read a comic I can understand as they don’t appeal to some people. However if you have gone through your life and never even seen a comic book then I would have to call you a liar. Comics have become apart of the main stream fabric in which we live. Today they are making them into movies and TV shows, mainly because Hollywood has apparently run out of ideas and their effort to appeal to another target audience, but I digress. Ok before I digress, some of these movies are absolutely horrible and don’t follow the established path the comic or even cartoons had taken, I make my point with the X-Men movies, ok now I am done…for now. 

Suffice it to say comic books have been read time and time again and generated their own world. I know this as Rob and I went to Wizard World in Philadelphia and felt completely out of my element. Rob was like a kid in a candy store as he went through comics, DVD, Toy, T-shirt & artists booths. He was like a kid in a candy store until we saw the Jedi’s fighting, then it was just plain depressing, at least to me it was. Yet in a way it was a side of Rob I had never seen before, it was pretty cool. To see him in his universe, as I called it, with such a love and passion for everything comic related was pretty cool and I was glad to be apart of it. However I couldn’t help feel a bit out of my league as I looked around at the people and heard the conversations in a language not entirely familiar to me. It was English, with maybe a little bit of Klingon mixed in, but it was the phrases that they used.

I asked Rob a ton of questions about what was this, what does that mean and why are fat storm troopers so funny to look at. I knew then that I could not be the only person in the world who would be completely lost in this bizzaro world of comics and its terminology. I used to read some comics back when I was in middle school and high school and if you ask Rob he will tell you the only comics I ever really remember reading were any Lobo comics and the graphic novel Batman vs Judge Dredd, which I will find and own someday. Again, I knew I could not be the only one in the world to have such limited knowledge of comics so I pitched the idea to both him and James from Cyborg 1 about doing a segment that could be related to the more novice/beginner comic book reader. Whenever Rob & James get together to go over comics or Rob talks to me about comics I usually stand there with a blank look on my face because I have no clue of the terminology being used. I figured this would be the starting point for me and all those like me, I would research and write down some comic terms and have Rob & James explain them in a way that they were understandable for the average beginner comic book reader.

Listed below are some of the terms I brought to them and you can see the 2 part video of a more in-depth definition of the words on latenighthorrorhotel.com we filmed.

Comix	This is associated more with Alternative and Underground comics
Comics	This is associated more with more mainstream comic companies such as DC & Marvel
Graphic Novel / Trade Paperback	A series of individual comics compressed into one big book.
Motion Comic	A hybrid of comic books & animation
Prestige & Bookshelf Format	Is based upon the number of pages within the “book” usually being 48 to 64 pages in length
Alternative Comics	Is non-mainstream and delivers on a wide range of subject matter
The Marvel Method	A way a comic is written; mainly being the artist would draw the comic first based upon an outline then the words would be added.
Continuity	The way in which a comic flows and little things are observed or happen within a comic series
Canon	Refers to the stories which are, at any one point, part of the "official", "accepted" history and story of particular characters/universes.
Retcon	A retcon affects the past history of characters and/or the whole shared universe, and says that the "new" changed events have always been that way.
Crossover	A guest appearance by one superhero into another superheroes world. Usually one companies heroes into another’s.
Shared Universe	A multitude of different characters co-exist and/or interact
Direct Market	The comics that are sent directly to the comic store rather than to places like Borders or Barnes & Nobles
Variante	Same exact comic, but with 2-3 different covers
Sleeper	A lesser known comic with great potential
Grade	The condition of a comic
Mini-Series	Usually a series of 6 comics to tell a story over time
Maxi-Series	Usually a series of 8 or more comics to tell a story over time
Manga	Japanese comics
Bleed	The art touches the edge of the pages without the traditional white frames
Splash Page	Full page drawing in a comic book
Gutter	The space between borders
Previews	A monthly book that shows the up and coming comics for early purchase.

I found this glossary link on the DC Wiki website, check it out for some more definitions: http://dc.wikia.com/wiki/Category:Glossary_Entries

Hopefully these terms and definitions help you understand the comic world just a little bit more and if you have any other you would like explained please contact us at latenighthorrorhotel@hotmail.com

At the end of all this I realized there was a whole other word out there that I was not aware of. I have heard Rob discuss things like Magic, Pokemon & Starwars RPG Games just to name a few. Now I have “heard” of these things before I just don’t know what the draw is to them, I don’t know anything about them and again I know there are a lot of people out there just like me who have the same confusion. So again I have put it to Rob and we will look at filming some segments that will help to uncover and understand the underground geek world out there. And believe me they are out there and some of them are really scary…did I mention the fat storm troopers?

Be safe and don’t forget your 13 sided die,

John Cannon

Part 1
 

Watch LNHH Comic Definitions Part 1 in Entertainment  |  View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com

Part 2

 

Review of Attack of the Vegan Zombies

Attack of the Vegan Zombies Review

by : Rob Dimension

A few weeks ago I was sent Attack of the Vegan Zombies by writer, director and producer Jim Townsend to review. Jim also stars in the film, I greatly appreciate him for sending me a copy.

The film is better than many on the Independent scene right now. The acting is above the normal and the way the film is shot is fantastic. The decision you have to make when viewing is how much of a Zombie purist are you? I am always up for any kind of Zombie shenanigans, so I figured "let's have a watch".

The Acting - The lead female actress is Christine Egan (plays Dionne Talbott) who reminds me of Sigourney Weaver, I know that is a bold statement but even her voice sounds like her. She was very good in this role, I might even seek out other films that she has done. Jim Townsend plays the Husband role and does a really good job, seriously and their chemistry is pretty good together. The role of Dionne's Mother is played by H. Lynn Smith who is a very believable Witch. The supporting cast is very good, especially the nerd characters..those guys made me laugh out loud.

The Story - The story is about a struggling couple who have a Wine Vineyard and can't produce enough Wine from the failing Grape crop. Dionne (Egan) goes to her Mother who is a witch to use Black Magic to improve the crop season. The following season is amazing in fact, so much so, the couple decide to hire some help, some students and their professor and two athletes. As the crop grows "aggressive" people start to disappear and things spiral out of control.

Overall - I really thought the acting and casting were very good, my standout was Christine Egan. I also was a HUGE fan of the scenery and techniques used to create the atmosphere for the film. The scripting was good and the premise was fun. It just depends on how much of a zombie purist you are, if you are a die hard classic Romero Zombie...then you might not enjoy this one. For me, sometimes a fun, good ole' Zombie flick is a good time...this one was fun. 

Thanks again to Jim Townsend for sending me a copy...I really look forward to see what he has up his sleeve for the next one. He really tried to be creative here and I can appreciate that, it may not appeal to all, but it was different enough to peak my interest.